


Cracked-Gem Confidential. Vol. 3: The love of the Irish

by justinsbuzz



Series: Cracked Gem Confidential [4]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Coming Out, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-11-21 20:30:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18147059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justinsbuzz/pseuds/justinsbuzz
Summary: Steven, Connie, and Amethyst accidentally come across one of Pearls deepest secrets, and uncover the truth behind a particular meme.





	Cracked-Gem Confidential. Vol. 3: The love of the Irish

**Author's Note:**

> For the 50 in NZ. You are loved.

Cracked Gem Confidential, Vol 3 (special edition) The love of the Irish.

“I can’t believe your mom is letting you do this.” Steven said, wearing swimming trunks and carrying two towels, looking both confused and impressed at the same time.

“I can’t believe Beach City doesn’t have a community pool with a diving board.” Connie said, wearing a pair of swimming trunks over a one-piece bathing suit, goggles, and a swimmers cap. How she was able to get her hair into it was a total mystery to Steven.

“I can’t believe you want do this in the first place.” Amethyst said leading the swimsuit clad teens through the winding paths through the columns and mounds of tossed out items and weapons from the strawberry fields. The room seemed much though since Amethyst had started tidying up. Everything that happened after Homeworld seemed to cause her to change some of her lifestyle choices. Being dubbed the most mature Crystal Gem might have played a part in it too. The further they went into Amethyst room, the more mysterious and unusual the piles of junk become. At one point, Steven and Connie swore they might have seen a damaged flying saucer, but that’s something they’ll have to investigate later.

“Almost there, guys. Again, are you sure you want to do this Connie? The diving board I got set up might be a bit high for you.” Amethyst asked cautiously.

“Definitely.” Connie said with confidence. “I haven’t been to a regular pool in ages. My aunt has one, but she and my mom aren’t really talking much anymore. Something about how she should have gone to art school instead of Medical school. Extended family is weird.”

“Ooooookay. Don’t say I didn’t warn ya.” Amethyst said, looking back at Connie with a look of concern on her face. “Welp, we’re here. Welcome to Lima Bean hill grove.” Amethyst said, standing in front of an elaborately made archway, made out of old TVs and possibly used bubble gum. 

Through the archway was a secluded area with a large body of water, much clearer than some of the other puddles in the room. but at the edge of the round lake was a large mound of river rocks that look like large lima beans. And standing on top of it was a tall diving board., where the base of it seems to have been ripped out of some concrete.

“Wow. Amethyst, this is awesome!” Connie exclaimed and giggled at the same time, trying not to jump up and down. “It’s so tall.”

“Yeah, Amethyst. I’ve never seen this in your room before.” Steven said looking impressed, which changed into one of suspicion. “Where did you get it?”

“Last winter at the community pool” Amethyst replied without skipping a beat. Steven looked at her with a slight sense of disapproval. “What? No one was using it. So, I did the responsible thing and gave it a good home. No one will miss it.”

“Did the gate say that the pool was closed until June?” Steven asked flatly.

“How did you guess?” Amethyst replied. Steven wasn’t amused. “Don’t worry, I’ll put it back before then. No one will notice.”

“well, I guess as long as you put it back, it would be ok to borrow it. Plus, it’s nice and warm in here. Not like how it is outside.” Steven said, still remembering that there’s some snow on the hills outside of beach city. “So, Connie, Ready to take the plunge?”

Hoping to see Connie chuckle at the hopefully foreshadowing pun, Connie was already halfway up the ladder of the high diving board. Watching her climb, Steven started to feel worried. This might be too high of a diving board. In case it might be too high, Steven steadily moved towards the tower, ready to save Connie if it was too much for her. But the expression on Connie’s face showed that she was determined to jump. All Steven can do is smile and admire the bravery. Connie got to the top of the diving board and looked down, still smiling.

“Are you ok? Looks a little high.” Steven called out to her.

“Nah, this is fine! This is going to be epic!” Connie said, grinning from ear to ear, both ducked under the swimming cap. Steven was still nervous.

“Jeez. I should have given her a kiss for good luck.” Steven said nervously.

“Nah. She’s got this. Of course, if you wanted to give her a kiss, you’re going to have to wait until she takes the short cut down.” Amethyst said, looking up at Connie and being impressed with her doing this. “Plus, the pool is deep enough for her to dive into it…. probably.”

“Probably?!” Steven shouted in fear. It slowly dawned on him that some of the pools of water in her room lead to other Gem rooms and other places behind the magical door. “Wait…does this pool go to anywhere, or is it a legitimate pool?”

The look that dawned on Amethysts face was one of shock and uncertainty. She never checked to see if this led to the Lava room, or Roses room, or even Pearls room.

“Oh crap, I never thought about that.” Amethyst, looking almost as worried as Steven. “Hey, um, Connie! Might need you to come down! Not sure if this is a normal pool of water, or one that leads to another part of the house!”

“Oh, um, OK! I guess, I’ll come down!” Connie shouted down to them.

“OK, Cool!” Amethyst replied, looking relieved, but only temporarily. “Wait, you’re coming down as in you’ll be using the ladder, or coming down as in using the gravitational shortcut?!”

“Oh! Um, yeah! Ladders kind of out of order! Something about a cable snapping, or no electricity going to it, or something! A crew is doing maintenance on it or something!” Connie replied, clearly lying. “Yeah, going to have to use the shortcut! Sorry, be right down!”

“Wait, Connie. I REALLY this this is a bad idea!” Steven shouted out to her. But before he knew it, she was taking a running start to the edge of the diving board. The only thing Steven can do it jump up to catch her. “SERIOUSLY! STOP!”

He leaped up to try to catch her but missed her by half a second, all he could do is look down at Connie to see that she was blowing him a kiss before curling up into a ball and falling into the body of water below. Steven ended up grabbing the edge of the diving board while looking below him. Connie epic cannon ball was huge from where Steven was. It looked to be a success, but only for a moment. A second later, it looked as though time was going backwards because Connie was being shot back upwards, almost to Stevens eyelevel.

“I think. I found. Pearls room. going. To need. Your. Help.” Connie said, trying to finish a full sentence before falling back into the water below, almost acting as though she was a yo-yo.

“Ok, I got this.” Amethyst said, pulling out her whip and pulling Connie out of the gravitational loop. Connie unceremoniously landed on Amethyst, but seems ok.

“Guys, I think we might have a problem.” Connie said, taking off her diving goggles and rubbing her brused wrist where Amethysts whip pulled her from the air.

“Um, yeah we do. YOU ENTERED INTO PEARLS ROOM!” Amethyst yelled while having a mild panic attack. “Pearl never lets anyone into her room. last time anyone was in there, the shards of a gem monster went on the loose. I still remember having to chase a giant arm around the kitchen.”

Steven remembered the incident like it was decades ago. Things went from worrying about getting more cookie cats to trying to save earth and the gems from a couple of Diamonds. He’s had a rough couple of years.

“But it’s not like she’ll find out, right? Isn’t pearl taking art lessons from Vidalia right about now?” Steven asked, remembering Pearls new and embraced talent for the arts. “She probably won’t be back for another hour.”

“True, but everyone, I really think you should take a look at what I found. It’s something that will turn everything we know about Pearl on it’s ear.” Connie said urgently, walking towards the Pool and jumping back in.

“Welp. This is going to be a thing today.” Amethyst said unenthusiastically.

“It’s not like we have anything going on today.” Steven said, walking to the edge of the pool. “Plus, we haven’t gone on an adventure in ages, or at least not since Homeworld.”

“Yeah, that’s because we’ve been trying to take it easy.” Amethyst stated. “And diving into pearls room to uncover and reveal a dark secret is not something I would consider as taking it easy.”

In tandem, both Steven and Amethyst jumped into the pool, and swam down only a few feet before ending up right side up again. It was Pearls room alright, judging by the ceiling and the wisps of white ribbons above them. But looking at eye level though, one could easily mistaken it for Amethysts junk pile. But there seems to be a running theme going on, as Connie was investigating one of the closer piles of CD’s and record albums.

“What is this place?” Amethyst rhetorically asked. “I never knew Pearl had a hoarding corner.”

What’s more puzzling” Connie began to say, standing up. “Is that all of these things. Dropkick Murphy CDs, ‘Flogging Molly’ albums, strange dancing shoes…there seems to be something amiss.”

Steven decided to poke around to find old cookbooks, strange plaid clothing, a couple of bagpipes, and a full body poster of someone named ‘Michael Flatley’, the lord of the dance. ‘Was he some sort of dancing warrior?’ Steven thought to himself while staring at it. Connie looked over the poster with confusion, but then began to shake her head.

“Nope. Not doing it for me.” Connie said, walking away. A second later, Amethyst popped out of a pile of old clothes with a large body pillow with the same person on it, sans shirt.

“how bout this?” Amethyst said, wiggling her eyebrows. Connie continued to shake her head.

“Nope. Not even. Plus, I got Steven so…. yeah…no.” Connie said flatly. Steven could only look on and be both confused and embarrassed.

“Eh, leaves more questions than answers about Pearl.” Amethyst said inquisitively. “Seriously, what’s with all of this junk?”

“Irish.” Steven said, finishing looking around and coming to a conclusion. “All of these things are Irish.”

Amethyst and Connie took another look around and gave a collected ‘Oh’.

“Wait.” Connie paused, picking up a bagpipe with a hole in it. “Doesn’t she, like, hate the Irish?”

“Yeah, if the memes were to be believed.” Amethyst replied, picking up a record containing Irish folk songs and throwing it like a frisbee to Steven who caught it in time. “But maybe these things are trophies of past…. conquests.”

“No. That can’t be right.” Steven said, placing the record down on a wooden table nearby. “Honestly thought, I’ve never known Pearl to hate anyone, let alone a whole group of people. Afraid of one or two people. Annoyed with a few people maybe, but just the Irish. It doesn’t make sense.”

“I’m actually with Steven on this one, Ams.” Connie said, lifting up a large harp made out of solid gold. While talking, Connie started to tune the harp like it was nothing. “Pearl’s never been angry with anyone. Annoyed, but never angry.”

Everyone paused for a few moments, until Amethyst killed the silence.

“Well, there’s only one conclusion to this.” Amethyst spoke, looking up at Steven and Connie with a concerned look on her face. “So, should I say what we’re all thinking, or should we say it at the same time?”

Steven and Connie looked at each other for a few seconds as though they were having a telepathic conversation with one another.

“Together.” Steven and Connie said at the same time.

“Pearl loves the Irish!” The three of them yelled in unison. At that point, Connie plucked the untuned strings in a shocked and sudden tone of ‘dun, dun, DUN!’

\--------

The afternoon sun peeked its way into the living room, save for the pacing shadow of Amethyst walking back and forth. Steven and Connie sat on the couch, contemplating what they had just seen. All this time, The memes were a complete lie, which really isn’t anything new, but It had been a running gag for so long, people had just come to accept it as truth.

“So that was something, right?” Steven asked out loud, trying to break the uncomfortable silence. Amethyst wasn’t amused but Connie pat his back as a way of saying ‘nice try’. “Well, what now?”

“Now, we forget everything we saw in there.” Amethyst said, looking concerned.

“But shouldn’t we talk to Pearl about this?” Steven asked.

“About what? Dunno what you’re talking about.” Amethyst briskly replied.

“I really feel we should confront Pearl about this though. I mean, she’s spent all of this time trying to hide her feelings all because of a stupid meme.” Steven said empathetically.

“But if we told her that ‘Hey pearl, found your stash of Irish tchotchkes in a very secret and secluded part of your room. what’s that all about?’, she would flip her freaking gem.” Amethyst said, looking shocked a moment later. “No offence.”

“Again, not my mom. I came to terms with that.” Steven said flatly. “But still, we should let her know that its ok to love Irish things, and people. In hindsight, red hair, pale skin, It’s just like my mom with Lion. The clues were in front of us the entire time.”

“That…. Pearl is Irish?” Connie asked, looking very confused. “That…wait, what are we talking about again? Still trying to process all of this.”

“We’re talking about how we’re not going to say a freaking word about this.” Amethyst said, looking annoyed. “Seriously, You’re out of your element, Connie!”

“No, we were talking about how we should just confront her about this so she could feel better and not be so closeted.” Steven rebutted. “And Connie isn’t out of her element, just confused. so don’t yell at my girlfriend. Also, you have to stop watching ‘The Big Lebowski’, Amethyst!”

“There’s nothing on, Steven! It’s either that, ‘Crying Breakfast Friends’, or that dumb superhero series with their big heads!” Amethyst yelled back at Steven. “I need good content, and the hiatus is killing us!”

Suddenly, the front door opened showing a very confused Pearl, carrying an easel and a small abstract painting of Onion.

“What did I walk into?” Pearl asked cautiously.

“a spiraling decent into madness because of the hiatus and not because of some secrets being revealed.” Steven said, trying to sound innocent and unsuspicious, unsuccessfully.

“uh-huh. Right.” Pearl replied. “I’m just going to go put this stuff up and see what I can make you three for dinner. You are staying for dinner, right Connie?”

Connie looked as though she was a deer in the headlights of an oncoming robinoid, she was hoping to stay as invisible to everyone after being caught in between Steven and Amethysts fight.

“Um, yeah. sure.” Connie said quietly. “Amethyst, Steven, can I see you two outside for a second while I call my mom.”

Standing outside, Steven and Amethyst still looked at each other clearly very annoyed with each other’s methods of talking about Pearl. Connie, on the other hand, knew she had to defuse the situation before Amethyst eats Steven. She, herself wasn’t sure if Amethyst could do that, but why take the risk?

“Ok, you two. I have an idea.” Connie began to speak before being interrupted.

“Completely ignore everything we’ve seen and come up with an alibi about what we did this afternoon. I already came up with a good one.” Amethyst said with a devious grin on her face. “I caught you two making out on a pile of old laundry in my room, and being the mature Gem, I counseled you two on proper relationship etiquette for teens your age.”

“Yeah, how about no. Ok?” Connie said, looking surprised as to how weird things turned. “Seriously, no shipping dirty here! We have standards to adhere to. Low standards, yes, but not that low.”

“Well, how about we just tell her the truth?” Steven asked. “She would appreciate the honesty, and it might help her open up some more.”

“How about I just do my idea and you two can sit this one out.” Connie said flatly. “Amethyst, we can’t just ignore what we saw. And Steven, maybe the straightforward approach isn’t the best tactic for something like this.”

Connie turned to the window to watch Pearl come back into the kitchen from her room, looking slightly worried.

“I’ve dealt with this kind of situation before with my cousin. And if it’s anything like that, then this might be a breeze.” Connie turned back to Steven and Amethyst, who look curious as to what might be going down. “I just need you two to act surprised when the time comes. I’m going to take the fall for this. Don’t try to stop me, Steven.”

“But” Steven began to say even though Connie gave him a deep glare “Don’t you mean ‘Take the Plunge’?”

Steven wore a broad grin after saying that horrible pun. Connie could do nothing but chuckle.

“If it weren’t for the good looks, the ‘old universe charm’, and the magical belly button bling…. nah, still love you either way.” Connie began to say as she walked back inside the house, leaving Steven looking concerned.

“Wha…what do you mean?” Steven asked nervously.

“Nothing. just follow my lead.” Connie said.

Pearl was already at the counter with a couple of heads of lettuce, vegetables, and a wok warming up, when Connie sat right at the counter across from her.

“Pearl?” Connie began to speak “Can we talk about something?”

Pearl looked slightly nervous, as though she might have been caught doing something she wasn’t suppose to.

“Um…. Yes.” Pearl replied cautiously. “What is it?”

“Pearl, I might have done something wrong.” Connie began, trying to sound guilty “When we were playing around on the diving board in Amethysts room-”

“Was it the one that was ‘borrowed’ from the public pool?” Pearl interrupted, shooting a look at Amethyst.

“Yes, but that’s irrelevant.” Connie quickly answered “It’s about the pool. Or what was on the other side of it.”

Pearl started to look more scared by the moment.

“Pearl. I saw…some…things. Things I don’t think I was meant to see, but-”

“CONNIE! I am surprised at you! Breaking and entering Pearls room!” Amethyst yelled, sounding as shocked as possible. “Rummaging through her unmentionables, messing around on her laptop. Moving things one inch to the left. I am shocked at your behavior, young lady.”

“I can’t believe you would do those things, Connie!” Steven cried out, looking and sounding as dramatic as possible. “I can’t believe I have fallen in love with such a devious young woman. My innocence! MY INNOCENCE!”

“OK! Thank you, actors! The check is in the mail. You may stop now.” Connie said, putting a stop to the kind of acting you would expect from an old soap opera. Connie walked around the island to stand right next to the clearly nervous Pearl and to try to console her. “Pearl, I saw some things that, well…All I can say is that…I know.”

Pearl was almost frozen in shock as to what she had revealed.

“I know, Pearl. And it’s ok. Steven and Amethyst knows as well. And we want to tell you that it’s alright.” Connie said, grabbing a hold of Pearls hand. “We love you, no matter what. And I know you might not be ready to come out and talk about it. And that’s ok too. Just know that when you do come out and want to talk about it, know that you’ll be greeted with the same love, acceptance, and friendship that we all have now with you.”

Pearl began to blush as Connie beckoned Steven and Amethyst in joining her in hugging Pearl.

“We know, and we love you. Take your time, and it’s ok.”

“OK! I admit it!” Pearl cried out loud “I have a crush on the mystery girl!”

Everyone looked confused at Pearl.

“Um. No. not that. The Irish thing.” Connie said cautiously. “The mystery girl crush thing is pretty much cannon, I was talking about the…. Irish….memorabilia…”

Pearl looked more terrified now than she was beforehand.

 

“What…. What Irish stuff? I don’t have any Irish stuff. Why would I have Irish stuff? I…I hate the…Irish?” Pearl tried to desuade Steven, Connie, and Amethyst of their statement. “Yes… yes, I hate the…Iri…”

Pearl couldn’t finish her sentence, looking down at all three of them, still hugging her.

“OK! Ok. I…like Irish stuff. Hate the Irish, but love their stuff.” Pearl tried to bluff the three of them, still looking up at her with big eyes. “Yep, stole all of their stuff…after…hating…. this isn’t working, is it?”

The trio shook their heads, leading Pearl to slump down to the ground.

“OK…I love the Irish.” Pearl said, defeatedly and ashamed. “The people, the culture, the music. All of it.”

Pearl looked really depressed. Connie looked over at Steven, and poked his nose, mouthing the words ‘You’re up’, But before Steven could say anything, Pearl began to list off some things.

“Not only that, I, well actually Rose and I, kind of ended up creating the first Celtic tribes to help fight gem monsters in northern Europe. Showed the best way to continuously rotate their crops to avoid famine, and introduce the induction coil.” Pearl finished listing off the things she and rose had done for the people in Ireland. The trio looked at each other, wondering how much more she was leaving out. But after a while, she seemed to have finished. This was Stevens turn to say something.

“Pearl. You don’t have to feel bad about loving something that interests you.” Steven said, looking into Pearl’s eyes. “It’s a lot better to love than to hate. You don’t have to be ashamed of it.”

Pearl began to tear up as she hugged all three of them tightly.

“Thank you! I’m going to say it loud, and say it proud! I LOVE THE IRISH!” Pearl cried out as everyone cheered.

“Like heck you do!” a shrill voice was heard from overhead. Peridot, looking down at them from the second story railing above the living room. She, unceremoniously flung herself over the railing, trying to make a dramatic entrance, but failing at it. literally. “Young lady, under this roof, we adhere to quality memes. That means you are not allowed to love the Irish. Period!”

Steven, Connie, and Amethyst looked both unamused and threatening, while Pearl began to feel very frightened. Before Connie or Steven could do anything, Amethyst took the first few steps, looking like she was about to throw Peridots gem through a rock tumbler with jagged rocks.

“OK. One: Pearl is old enough to be your flipping Diamond.” Amethyst said, looking as sassy as possible “Two: There’s no quality in memes about what one person feels about something. Or just anything hateful. Seriously, not surprised you were behind it.”

“Who said I was behind it? How did you know?!” Peridot screeched, knowing her cover was blown.

“You just told me. And three!” Amethyst said, strutting her way towards Peridot. “Either you put a stop to that meme now, or I’ll start telling people you hate anime.”

“YOU WOULDN’T!” Peridot growled. “You wouldn’t dare!”

“And I’ll start posting fan art of you and Jasper.” Amethyst said casually. “And I’m definitely not one to make SFW art either.”

“It’s true.” Connie said. “She does major NSFW stuff. I had to buy a new computer after bumping into some of the things she’s made. She will not paint you in a pretty light.”

Peridot cautiously walked backwards, knowing a loosing fight when we see it.

“GRRR! Fine! Pearl loves the Irish! See if I care!” Peridot said, stomping up the stairs to her room to start deleting ‘Pearl hates the Irish posts’.

“We really don’t care!” Steven yelled back up to her as she stomped away. “You ok, Pearl?”

Pearl was visibly crying while smiling broadly.

“Yes Steven.” Pearl said through the tears. “Yes I am.”

**Author's Note:**

> Well, there's no easy way to say this, but for personal reasons, i'm going to be on hiatus for a while. i might try to be back late next month, but due to personal reasons, i feel like i need to take a hiatus from writing. Writers block is creeping in, some IRL issues are popping up, and depression can be almost as annoying as Peridot taking accordion lessons with Onion. 
> 
> And this isn't some set up to an April fools issue. I did have one planned though, but I'm all out of steam. It was going to be a story about Connie dying, like, 4 times. in the most bonkers and cartoon-like way. She, Steven and Amethyst were trying to catch a gem monster that didn't get corrupted, but after Connie falls off of a cliff, Steven brings her back but looking pink. she ends up having a childlike curiosity and acts more goofy. she dies a second time, and is brought back with a yellow complexion, and acting more angry. she dies two more times, turns blue and white respectively. but after the 5th time, they just put her in Roses fountain and she comes back to normal. like a cross between 'The Kindergarten Kid' and 'Indirect Kiss'. really bonkers, but i don't have the energy for it. if anyone is looking for a writing prompt, there you go. see you all late April. Hang in there.


End file.
